Hey there,
I am so ashamed and embarrassed because i haven't lost any weight, got any smaller or stuck to any diet since i have had this blog. In fact, i have gained weight, got bigger and fucked up every diet i have planned for myself. How am i ever going to be good enough.
I am scared as well. I look back on when i thought i would have lost the weight and i am still here today at around 120lbs. I have never been this heavy before. I don't ever want to be this heavy again either.
It's so hot and i just want to wear shorts and a shirt and sunbathe.
I can't bare to look at myself in the mirror anymore because all i see is fat and a face.
I just want to stop eating all together and never have to think about food again. I hate this. The endless cycles of binging, starving, binging, starving. Maybe if i stop eating for a while, i will feel empty and that will give me motivation. But then i am worried that getting that hungry will make me binge.
I just want to end this all really but i am too much of a coward.
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